Domestic snack authority
He audits every fish before lunch.
One Firm Bite
Chippy treats the fish biscuit like unfinished paperwork. One corner goes in, the eyes narrow, and the room waits. He never rushes a crunch. He applies steady pressure, checks the tail, then resumes from the same exact spot. Crumbs are accepted. Interruptions are not. The biscuit may be decorative to everyone else; to Chippy, it is a shift that must be completed.
Terms of Crunch
Dear cupboard keeper, please note that Chippy has identified a serious delay between the opening of the packet and delivery to his chair. Future fish biscuits should arrive whole, lightly crisp, and large enough to require both patience and jaw work. Broken tails will be reviewed individually. Silence during inspection is appreciated. A clean plate is optional; a punctual biscuit is not.
Keep the fish biscuit within reach.